Love Was A Four-Letter Word
by LaLopez1981
Summary: One bright, sunny morning, Tony wakes from a nightmare, and finds Loki lying next to him. He watches Loki sleep, comforted simply by his presence, and says the things he can't bring himself to say when Loki's awake. But is the god really asleep?


When Tony's eyes shot open, his heart was racing, his breath coming in short, shallow gasps. He laid there for a moment, atop the dark sheets, his nude olive-toned body bathed in the bright morning light streaming through the uncovered windows, trying to regain his bearings, forcing himself to calm down because his heart was beating entirely too fast. His mind, constantly in motion, thoughts flowing freely, tried to focus on single words: _home_, _New York_, _safe_.

_You're not in a fucking cave, Tony_, he thought forcefully. He rolled from his side onto his back, heart and breath slowing to almost normal, and jolted a little when the long, pale body beside him shifted slightly in sleep.

After a few more calming breaths, Tony looked over to his lover again. Studying the angular, sharp-boned face, more peaceful in sleep than when awake, not unlike Tony, he felt an entirely different emotion wash over him.

Love.

A small smile quirked up the corners of his lips, as he shifted again, to watch his lover as he slumbered. After he had settled, the room fell into silence again, and he could just hear the sleeping man's soft, even breathing.

He studied the sleeping form, curled halfway into a ball, and wished he would roll just a little more to his side or even onto his back. Tony would feel even better once he could slide between those long limbs and wrap himself around the slim but sturdy body. The thought made him chuckle softly to himself.

Tony was not a person to cuddle by nature. In fact, before Loki Laufeyson had entered his life, he had never stayed long enough in bed—or wherever they had happened to end up—to cuddle with a lover.

Of course, there were a lot of things Tony Stark had never done before he met Loki Laufeyson.

He had never met a god, or two, for that matter—not that he had believed in any. He had never believed in aliens, either, but he fought an army of them once upon a time.

And he had never fallen in love.

The logistics of it all was now too much for any of them to contemplate. Time had passed, things had been said and done, friendships and working relationships were ended, and thankfully, some later reconciled.

At the end of the day, all Tony wanted, and needed, was to play with his toys in his lab, and come home to this man, to this life he had built with him over the past couple of years.

"I love you," he said into the silence, his voice scratchy from sleep and the fast breathing. "I know you can't hear me…," he continued, keeping his voice low, so as not stir Loki. "I guess it just makes it easier to say it when you're not looking at me with those big old eyes."

He reached out, fingers barely brushing Loki's skin as he pushed back silky raven strands, to tuck gently behind Loki's ear.

"How do you do it, babe? How do you make me feel like you can see what I'm thinking when you look at me? It used to make me uncomfortable, but…you're really the only one who can do that."

Tony's fingers hovered over Loki's shoulder, followed the curve of his arm, up to his long-fingered hand resting, slightly curled, on the pillow.

"You're so beautiful," he murmured, tracing back up to Loki's shoulder and now down the line of his side, over narrow hip, to his mostly covered bottom. He sat up a little, caressing his lover's pale body, lovingly, drawing back the sheet to reveal a firm, creamy thigh. It settled the anxiety constantly coursing within him just to have Loki close, to be able to touch him, to hold him.

His fingers moved lazily back and forth over the soft skin, the body rising and falling as Loki continued to sleep. Occasionally, Tony would glance at his face; just to make sure he wasn't awake and faking it.

"I don't tell you enough how much I love you. I don't tell you at all." His voice nearly cracked with emotion for acknowledging the rare weakness. "Love was probably the only four-letter word that didn't get used often in my house. Just because I don't say it, doesn't mean I don't feel it. I'm still learning how to show it."

He went still when Loki moved, turning further onto his belly, and hitching up a long leg, flipping his head on the pillow, away from Tony. He waited for Loki to resettle then continued his admiration of his pale, flawless body. He scooted a little closer, moving Loki's long black hair from his neck and placed a light kiss to the nape of his neck.

He hummed softly, inhaling Loki's scent. He smelled like winter, even in the heart of summer. Unable to resist and uncaring if he woke the man, Tony curled up behind Loki and slid his arm over his trim waist.

Loki didn't wake fully, but he burrowed into the warmth that surrounded him, moaning softly with it. "…Anthony…" he sighed sleepily.

"I'm here, babe," he mumbled against Loki's shoulder. He squeezed Loki tightly to him, as thoughts of the nightmare suddenly came to him; how he woke just before an explosion blinded him and shrouded him in darkness.

"What's wrong?" Loki's head turned sharply and he started to turn in Tony's arms.

"Nothing."

Loki faced him now, taking his face in his hands, but Tony couldn't even look him in the eye. "I felt you tremble. What happened? Don't," he said sharply when Tony opened his mouth to speak.

His eyes flew up now to meet bright flashing green. "What?"

"Don't lie to me. I can feel your heartbeat when you are close to me, Anthony; it beats in time with mine. I could feel it just now, beating erratically, when you were holding me. Your face is clammy."

Loki's fingers pressed into his cheeks, his thumbs brushing the thin skin beneath his dark amber eyes.

"Tell me…," he whispered desperately.

Tony sighed and wrapped his fingers around Loki's wrists. "I'm fine, Loki."

"Anthony."

"I, I had a…a nightmare. But I'm okay now. I woke up and…"

Loki lowered his hands to Tony's chest, his eyes roaming frantically around the arc reactor, and Tony wondered what he was looking for. "And what? What nightmare? Your heart's not slowed to normal yet. Sweetheart."

"Loki. I'm okay." He covered one of Loki's hands with his and cupped his chin with the other. "I woke up and saw you next to me. And…"

Loki's eyes wandered over his face before coming back to meet his. "You're all right?"

Tony nodded and leaned in to nuzzle into Loki, pressing his face to Loki's chest, listening to his heartbeat, soothed by it. Loki's arms immediately enveloped him, giving him a fierce squeeze.

"You frightened me. Don't do that."

Tony smiled against his skin, pecked once at his collarbone then a few more times up the line of his throat. "Sorry, babe."

They both went quiet, lying in the middle of their giant custom bed, wrapped in each other's arms, legs tangled, Loki slowly rocking them and humming softy.

"Do you have to work today?" the god nearly whispered, likely not wanting to disturb the tranquil they had found themselves in.

"It's Saturday, babe," Tony murmured sleepily. "And I own the company. I don't have to do anything I don't want."

"Then stay here…with me…?" His voice went up at the end, an almost hesitant question.

Tony's hands pressed into his back, pushing for more closeness. "Okay," he answered lightly.

Loki pressed his lips to the top of Tony's head then, on a second thought, he pulled back just enough to place a soft, sweet kiss on Tony's closed lips. "Anthony?"

"Mnh?" He puckered his lips, asking for another kiss.

Loki chuckled. "Look at me," he whispered. Tony's thick black lashes fluttered as he opened his eyes and focused on Loki's emerald gaze, humming questioningly. Loki brushed his thumb across Tony's curving lips. "I love you, too."

Tony's body broke out in a brief sweat, embarrassment flushed his cheeks bright red. "You heard all that? I thought you were asleep."

"I told you, love; your heart beats in time with mine. I thought it was in _my_ dream. I was resisting waking, in case it was a dream, but…you have very calloused hands."

After a beat, Tony barked out a short laugh. "Sorry."

"No." Loki pushed forward, nudging at Tony's cheek with his nose, pressing his lips to the rough, stubbly skin. His fingers slipped into the dark hair at the back of Tony's head. "Love was not said often in my home, either. Not to me…"

He drew back again, giving Tony the kiss he silently asked for just moments before, letting it linger. "Tell me every day and I will tell you."

Tony swallowed to ease the dryness in his throat. "Tell me."

Loki's eyelids slowly rose, emerald green focusing on rich chocolate brown. "Tell you what?" he asked playfully.

"You son of a…" Tony lunged forward, rolling with Loki until he was on his back, and tickling his sides until he howled for him to stop. He hovered above the man, smiling widely. "Say it."

"Darling, when have you ever known me to follow a demand that easily?"

"Last night when I told you to come."

Loki scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Don't ruin this beautiful moment with your vulgarity."

Tony leaned down, just touching his lips to Loki's. "You love it when I'm vulgar."

"At times." He leaned up for another brush of lips, moaning as they both deepened the kiss. His eyes were heavy-lidded when they parted. "I love you, Anthony Stark."

Tony just about melted. His body slunk down onto Loki's, like a blanket floating to rest. He buried his face in the crook of Loki's neck, blinking back the tears stinging his eyes. No one had ever said that to him. No had ever loved him. "I love you, too," he murmured brokenly into Loki's ear.

Loki shifted them, tucking Tony into his side, and turning his body slightly toward him, so he could caress his face. "It will get easier. In time."

"What?"

"To say it."

Tony grinned, bringing up his hand to place his fingers on Loki's face, just to be touching him. "I love you, Loki Laufeyson." Loki's pale red lips curved slightly in a feigned annoyed smirk. But Tony could see in his eyes how pleased he was to hear it.

In the blink of an eye, a different twist of his lips, and the god's face shifted, his eyes darkened. Tony felt a rush of heat as Loki pressed his hips into his. "Show me."

"I…" Tony's grin spread his lips wide over perfect white teeth and he let out a lascivious chuckle when Loki's long leg hitched up and over his hip. "Nice move, Reindeer Games."


End file.
